


Panic

by imdex



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Caught, Crying, Dark, Escape, F/M, Family, Fear of Discovery, Forbidden, Forbidden Love, FusRoDah, Gentle Kissing, He finally says the L word, Joyful, Panic, Panic Attacks, Sad, Secret Relationship, Serious, Sleepy Cuddles, Tenderness, Thalmor, Throwing up in Elenwens bed, bad memories, because she deserves it, secret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7108729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imdex/pseuds/imdex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only a matter of time before they were caught.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letter to Big Brother(Prelude)

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, lazy Sunday. So this is what happens on lazy Sundays.

_Faervel,_

_I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. I've found the time to really consider our childhood, our upbringing, and in my musings I've found something I never thought I'd admit, my brother._

_Though I am loathe to admit such things I find, and am continuing to find more and more daily, that you were correct._

_Within the fall season I shall be welcoming my child with the girl I adore with all of my being. The one that currently has me on the run from the very organization in which we grew up in and thought so fondly of…Bretons. Pesky little creatures._

_I thought it only befitting to give you the news that my superior genes shall be passed on._

_…and you'd better come visit when that day comes._

_Best regards to you and Dabien._

_-Rulindil  
3rd Child of Vaarilion to Abandon the Dominion._


	2. Grief

Imani didn't quite know _how_ long she'd been staring out of the window. She only knew the moons had risen higher, that the cloudless sky cast their light across what little landscape she could see, and the lazily patrolling guards below. 

Her stomach hurt and with a whimper she found it becoming more and more difficult to swallow. Her head felt light, tears had threatened to overwhelm her for an unmentionable amount of time, and her entire body both felt numb and buzzing alive at the same time. Imani sighed nervously and curled her fingers into her hair, eyes slamming shut, and inhaled sharply as the tears she'd been holding back sprang from her eyes. 

Within the dark room Rulindil stirred lightly but the Breton couldn't hear him. Her heart hammered in her chest and she gave a short sob, trying her best to remain quiet lest she disturb the Altmer that slept still. This didn't happen often. The Breton was fairly accustomed to fighting off the torrent of emotions she kept securely locked away until she couldn't take it any longer. Months of travels, negative events, words that hit just a bit too hard stuck with the seemingly happy Breton. 

And when they finally became too much for her to subdue any further they brought along with them _memories_ , wickedly twisted and horrifically raucous, making her feel sicker as the unasked events brought back with them the gut wrenching reminder that they were _forever_ apart of her. 

Imani gulped for air and held her hands over her mouth in desperation to allow Rulindil to continue his sound slumber. The Breton opened her mouth, panting rapidly and looked wildly around the small area she could take in without moving, as the anger, the hurt, and the _fear_ attacked her from every possible angle. 

The memories and events, old and new, mixed within the emotion so vividly that they became them. She gripped the small shelf beneath the window, hazily noting the scraping of the wood beneath her nails as she held to it for dear life, and rested her scorching hot forehead against the sill. 

The coldness of the glass was a small mercy but the moment passed as quickly as it happened. 

Silently the Breton sobbed, memories and emotions overtaking her violently, harsh intakes of air and sporadic shakes ransacking her frame, and it was one accidental louder whimper that stirred the mer awake. Black eyes blinked wearily with a confused frown as he lifted his head from the pillow and sluggishly pulled his forearms beneath his chest to lift himself enough to look around for the source that had disturbed his sleep. 

He hadn't expected to see in the pale glow at the window a Breton, sobbing and shivering, and was on his feet in a second. 

_You're worthless._ Her arms curled tighter around her head as she tried to block the hateful voices out.  
_That was all your fault._ …no  
_You didn't do anything to stop it. You're a coward, you asked for it, you'll never have the nerve to protect yourself._

Imani tried to pull in a mouthful of air into desperate lungs but it did nothing to quell the vice like hold that had her chest in a painful grasp. The Breton, lightheaded, tenderly leaned her head back against the window in desperation for _something_ to ease the **torment** ransacking her mind. 

_Now look what you've done. It's over now, Fool. **All of it.** You'll die by his hands._  
She heaved slightly and slammed her eyes shut. So much for sneaking in, kissing his cheek, and leaving…for good.  
_As if he'd be done with you._

"Breton?" Imani flinched. 

_no….No….NO!!!!_

She hid her face away in her palms and sobbed even as Rulindil pulled her against him and placed himself in the chair she'd pulled up. 

"What's wrong?" she curled up tighter in his arms and seemed to cry harder. 

"Imani, calm yourself. I don't have the patience to tolerate theatrics at two in the morning." he tried the weak joke but it seemed the girl was too far gone to respond. Rulindil held her tighter, convincing her to abandon her hands for his shoulder, no matter the amount of fluids that came with the offering. 

The mer did everything he could think of to console his Breton in the long moments that followed. He tried threatening her-with a good time-again, tried to shush her with soft whispers and tender touches as if she'd break completely apart if his touch lingered a bit too hard. Rulindil kissed her temple and softly began to sing to her, the words hushed as if singing them too loudly would spawn amber eyes and the pain that accompanied them. 

It was an Aldmeri lullaby, one that his mother would sing to him in the nights where he timidly sought out Enwe's comfort, when sleep eluded him, or when he simply longed for a touch so gentle that it appeared more and more alien as the days and years passed by. 

Imani panted harshly in his arms, still clinging to him for dear life, but he noted the volume of her whimpers had lowered considerably as he softly sang the words. The Breton's tense body slowly began to ease and by the end of the song she rested with her head resting against his wet shoulder. 

"Better?"

She sniffled, worrying her lower lip, and nodded slowly. 

"For now…"

"Imani, you can tell me what's gotten you so upset."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. 

"I…I just…needed to cry."

Rulindil placed a lingering kiss to her forehead. 

"As you wish." he whispered, seeing right through her lie, but didn't press the issue further. 

He picked her up and tenderly deposited her on his bed. 

"I…I can't stay."

He looked confused. 

"Then why did you come?"

Tears threatened to spill over and in desperation Rulindil kissed her cheek as he laid beside her. 

"Never mind. But surely, you can stay until I manage to find sleep again? There are so few pleasures in life as fine as my company after all." he stated with a smug smirk and a wink. 

Laying on the charm while effectively ripping her heart from her chest. Well played, Dragon mer. 

The Breton sighed and smiled despite herself. 

"…I'll stay."

\----------  
(notes for continuation into next chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rulindil woke to the Breton still there, curled against him, and smiled. Thinking back on how he'd found her worried him. Sure he'd seen her cry in the past, he'd seen her get worked up, but he'd _never_ seen her in that state. Imani had truly been **tormented** by something and he was _powerless_ to do anything about it. 
> 
> Carefully the mer kissed her cheek and smiled softly as the Breton squirmed and made the slightest squeak….
> 
> Before she rolled over with a huff and mule kicked him in the leg hard enough that the mer promptly hissed and stumbled out of bed and onto his feet. He glared at the sleeping she devil and considered flinging her off the other side of the bed, his thigh positively _throbbing_ in pain, and with a string of low grumbled words set to dressing himself.


	3. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Imani woke it wasn't pleasant. Her head was positively _**pounding**_ and with a scowl she realized she'd stayed the entire rest of the damned night. She swallowed thickly and for a moment sat still and thought everything over, and glanced over to the empty spot beside her. She didn't want to do this. She wasn't even sure if she could do this. 
> 
> Nausea fluttered softly within her stomach and Imani closed her eyes as she tried to will it away. 
> 
> "Get me my breakfast!" a horrendous voice barked from somewhere below "and don't be late about it!"
> 
> Imani pursed her lips and glared at the closed door as a frantic soldier responded to her bark. 
> 
>  
> 
> **Elenwen**
> 
>  
> 
> Oh Imani _loathed_ the hateful cow. Her arrogant voice did nothing to quell the sickly feeling and with a grin, soft but still devious, the Breton slid from the bed and to the door. She'd sworn to Rulindil, Ondolemar, and had even pinky promised Liya that she'd leave the witch alone. But none of them were there now, the Breton needed a distraction from the heavy blow life had landed on her, and with that Imani snuck out of the room and down the hall.

Moments later found the Breton hunched over a bed, gulping for air, and desperately trying to swallow the bitter taste of vomit away. Her hand rose to wipe her clammy face free from the tears brought on by her throwing up and cringed as she observed the mess. 

…all over the bed linens that belonged to the one person she couldn't stand more so than Mayven.

Despite the persistent nausea that told her that wouldn't be the only time she threw up that day Imani smiled. 

The other prank was lost to the fact that the 'honorable Lady Elenwen' wasn't good enough to make her own bed. With a snicker and a low hum Imani pulled the blankets up over the mess and pressed them flat. She gave the bed one last hateful smile, nose crinkling in joyful distaste. 

"Sweet dreams, bitch."

\---

Rulindil had returned late, just before dinner, his day busier than he'd anticipated. He'd expected the Breton to be gone but was instead met with the sight of Imani, flushed and sickly looking, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Breton wh-"

"We need to talk, Rulindil." 

His brows rose. Them addressing each other properly was a rarity, and like she'd say, it was like 'hearing a unicorn.'

But the unicorn was said too softly, too much apprehension, and for a fleeting moment he felt his throat tighten with unwelcome anxiety. 

"…of course."

He closed the door gently as if the slightest sound would snap the tension that tightly held the room and made his way to sit beside her. Imani refused to meet his gaze and stared ahead, eyes going blank to brimming full with emotion as the seconds passed. Rulindil grabbed her hand that had curled around her knee in a white knuckle grip and gave the appendage a soft squeeze.

"Imani-"

"There's something you need to know." she swallowed thickly and her breathing became the slightest bit harder. 

Rulindil looked at her in curious worry. She was _afraid_. 

"Alright." he stated softly and again the room fell into the loud grasp of silence. 

"I…" the mer pursed his lips as tears started to race down her face. Imani pulled her hand from his and brought them both up to rest her head on them and groaned. 

"I can't do this."  
Her hands slapped loudly against her thighs and the Breton looked ahead with the beginnings of what appeared to be a repeat of the previous evening. Rulindil went to pull her into his arms but the girl stood quickly, faced him, and shook her head. 

"No, I…w-we…" 

"Imani, what's going on." 

She bit her lip. 

"Whatever it is I swear I won't string anyone up from the rafters…depending on the consequences that is."

A bitter laugh escaped her. 

"It'd be me that you'd string up then." she muttered softly. 

His head cocked "Oh? And what have you done to deserve such _treatment_?"

Though his words were suggestive Rulindil knew better. Imani was very clearly distraught about something. He stood slowly. 

"I've been patient with you, Breton. If you persist in this…this drama I'll be forced to employ alternative methods."

The look that crossed her face felt like a punch to his gut. 

"You're going try to kill me."

He blinked in baffled silence. It was as if she realized that she was about to die, that she really had no chance of escape, he'd heard that tone before. From what was probably hundreds of prisoners that had passed through his domain. The defeat and anger that twisted within their realization had merely bounced off the mer but hearing such unthinkable admission from her, his playful little tyrant, his _sweet_ and loving Imani seared him to his soul. 

Rulindil licked his lips, mouth hanging open dumbly for a second more.

"Imani…why on Nirn would you say such things?"

She backed herself against the wall, hung her head, and sobbed. 

"I shouldn't have came…I-I…just do it."

"You can't be serio-"

"Rulindil, just…!" she hissed desperately. 

It was then Rulindil, swept up in torrents of his own overwhelming emotions became aware of two things. 

From down the hall a piercing shriek resounded from Elenwens' room followed by incredibly _hard_ sounds of the ambassador heaving up her dinner. The Breton met the Altmer's gaze, tears spilling over, posture slightly hunched. Curled around herself, arms tenderly cradling themselves against her lower abdomen, that part of her anatomy now every so slightly _protruding_. 

Rulindil stumbled forward on numb feet. ".…Imani." for a second the girl looked torn between flinging her arms around him and bolting for the door. The mer loomed over her, face blank as he tried to process what was happening through the storm raging within his mind. 

"Are you…"

She shrunk back slightly as his hand reached out for her. The Breton sucked in a harsh breath as his warm fingers _tenderly_ danced along her stomach, noting that the already hard muscle beneath her soft flesh had become noticeably tighter in between her hips. 

"You're pregnant." 

Imani hadn't counted on the gentleness of his statement. Over the course of their relationship she'd always in some way kept in mind **who** he was apart of, **who** he was when he was with her, and **who** he was outside her company. 

Rulindil, 3rd Emissary of the Aldmeri Dominion in Skyrim, ruthless and brutal interrogator. 

"You're really pregnant?"

She swallowed thickly and nodded slowly.

Was going to be the father of a forbidden, half blooded, child and as the mer _joyfully_ pulled her into his arms Imani smiled through her tears. 

"Oh Imani…" Rulindil tilted her chin up and tenderly pressed his lips against hers. 

"You're…not mad?" 

He smiled, brilliant and joyful. "Not at all, my dear little irritant. This…" he chuckled "this is a joyous thing!"

She giggled softly, and relieved, wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

"Rulindil, I…"

At that moment the joy, the relief, the elation was sucked from the room. Poisonous yellow eyes narrowed and the moment the door bounced off the wall Rulindil had the Breton at his back. Elenwen smiled and the guards flanking her stepped closer. 

"I thought there was something _off_ about you, Rulindil." Imani desperately tried to be discrete behind him as she nocked a arrow and stood ready for the fight to begin. 

"Lady Elen-"

"And is what I overheard correct, _Emissary Rulindil_? That **you** have impregnated _her_?" 

Imani peeked out from behind him and glared. 

Elenwens' smile turned tight. 

"So you must be the little _burden_ that's been running unrestrained through this Embassy." the ambassador gave Rulindil a glare that promised death. 

"You're welcome for leaving your guards alive. You're also welcome for bringing some fun into this hell hole."

"The Thalmor have no use for Bretons or their ideas of _pleasantries_." The guards moved in front of her and prepared for their orders. "Leave them alive. It's only fitting that you watch your little _omission_ expire." Elenwen looked at Rulindil in disgust and the double meaning of her plans didn't go unnoticed. By neither of them. 

Imani spun out from behind him and released her arrow, catching the guard above the eyebrow, and piercing deeply into his skull with a sickly ' _thwack_!' The second guard was a bit harder to take on. Elenwen had decided to join in and was releasing torrents of magick upon Rulindil, giving the guard time to get a blow in with his mace, and as Rulindil fell to his knees with a growled 'it's nothing' Imani knew it was indeed something. 

Something more than pride. Something greater than dignity. Rulindil was back on his feet in a second as if to prove their hits weren't harming him. In that moment it was no longer about _them_. Imani, unthinking, pulled the sword from the small table and ran at Elenwen. 

It was about their **_family_**. 

Elenwen proved to be more powerful than she appeared with her dagger, moving with grace and training of master, landing more than a few hits to the now bleeding Breton. Rulindil's words repeated heavily within her mind, reminding her to stay focused, that _she_ was the one at an advantage. 

Elenwen would not take away what she loved.  
Her blade connected with golden skin and the ambassador cried out in outraged agony.  
**Never**.

"Breton." his hand gripped her arm tightly and spun her as he poured what little bit of magick he had left through a restoration spell that coated her skin in a pleasant caress. His eyes met hers, reckless and desperate, as he shuffled her over to the open door. 

"Run."

Imani stammered and clung to him fiercely. 

"N-no..I-"

The kiss was rushed, the undertones of a weak promise within his attentions, a promise that held no weight but that of a feather. 

"Imani, I love you." the Breton clung to him harder and whimpered. 

"But you need to run." he pushed her away gently and behind him Elenwen found her footing again and as the ambassador closed in, dagger raised, Imani smiled. 

"…and you will run with _us_." she yanked him forward giving her clear aim for the elf bearing down on him. 

**FUS RO DAH!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...the end *smiles a little*


End file.
